I recently traveled to California to visit a close friend who recently moved out there. This would be my second time in Cali, but I wanted this trip to be even more grand and amazing than the first time. Back in 2012, I went with my friend who lives there now and we had quite a journey! It started in Oakland with my friend from high school and her beautiful girlfriend who hosted us and showed us a really good time. I’m talking bout sushi and strippers in the same night! An adventure to say the least! Major fun. Then we took a bus to LA, where we stayed with his grandfather in Alta Dena. Experienced a bit of Hollywood, Venice Beach and the like. Then for the grand finale, we drove about 6 hours to Palm Desert in southern Cali, to stay with a friend in a nice relaxing resort. 2 weeks of hustling and bustling in the west, but enjoyed myself immensely. But this time was much shorter: only four days! Not long enough in my opinion. But obligations prevented me from prolonging my trip. I wanted it to be like a quick getaway/retreat kinda vibe. At first I was just gonna visit my friend who I mentioned lives there now. But because I wanted to do something more, a day retreat in Oakland crossed my path while surfing the net. The retreat focused on women’s spirituality/sexuality (stuff that I love!) and a woman whose products I’ve purchased before was supposed to do a presentation. I was sold. It seemed legit. I was excited! It was exactly the type of event I wanted to attend. I payed the $200 non refundable fee. In there like swim wear. No worries. This is February by the way. Immediately after submitting my payment, I get a confirmation email stating more info will be coming in a few weeks. Booyah! Waited patiently/excitedly. A few weeks go by. April arrives. Still no word. I shoot an email, just asking if its still happening and if so for the address, since I did pay so long ago and the event was coming up soon. Didn’t get it. I don’t want to get into too much detail. But all in all, I didn’t get the address until about a week before the event after going back and forth with the coordinator. Then two days before, I get another email saying the location was changed. I didn’t go. I was extremely upset at the lack of professionalism and organization of the event coordinators. Especially because that was the main reason I was going to Oakland. And I lost out on $200 : (
Now don’t worry I still had an awesome time with my other friend who hosted me in Oakland. Went to the same sushi spot and had more great food, so it didn’t bust my groove. But I still saw it as a loss. Of not only my pocket but as an opportunity to grow/evolve and meet like minded sistas on similar paths. A chance to gain new insights and information. But after examining this situation, I thought about similar investments I’ve made in people/businesses/products for the sake of my well being, hoping to gain a better version of myself, only to end up with less money and enthusiasm for them then before. I had to ask myself, what about my investments were faulty?
- I was looking outside of myself for change within. No matter how many gurus inspire you, or online courses inspire you, or retreats you embark on, seeking that change to be a better person outside of yourself no matter the modality isn’t gonna change the way you feel about you. Don’t get me wrong, these are tools that can definitely aid personal change and healing, but at the end of the day, we are the creators of our destinies.
- Money can’t buy love, happiness, health, wealth, etc. Money cannot make you a better person no matter how much you spend. And love, peace, and stillness are free. We already have all that we need right here, right now to evolve.
- Healers are human. Although I was upset that the women involved in this event, weren’t as organized and together as I assumed they would be, I no longer judge them. We are human, not perfect. So just because they didn’t act exactly the way I thought they should, doesn’t make them bad healers or even inconsiderate.
I realized it is all within me. I don’t need to pay for the spiritual counseling or products that will supposedly bring something new to the table. I have all the awareness and tools I need right here with and within me. And what’s even better, is that it’s all access. I just have to remember to tap into it. And what’s even more wild, is that people are coming to me for that information. Everyone else seems to know I am a source but me. Until now. So I have decided to take a break from spending on being better. I can be better all by myself! With or without anyone’s help or my own money to spend or keep. Spirit is always here within me, ready to lead me in the right direction, teach me a lesson, or comfort my pain. I just have to be open to it. The popular R&B singer Brandy has recently been using the slogan “God in me as me.” God lives within us always. Even during the times we ignore or forget. It’s about being open. Tapping in to that god state. Are you open to the infinite wisdom within you?
ASHA JACKSON
Asha aims to share love, understanding, and insight through her writing. On her own spiritual journey, writing allows her to share with the world and reaffirm OUR oneness with the universe. To read more, check out her blog at http://ashestoasha.tumblr.com
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