Fuckbois: A gal’s best pet? Or greatest enemy ?

They’re here, probably broke, charming and they know it.

According to user ‘thisplacesucksass’ on Urban Dictionary ‘fuckboi’ is another way to spell ‘fuckboy’ which derives from a term given to prison cell mates who is sexually subservient to another cell mate. However user ‘nbild’ is more acquainted with the general term we know of fuckboi :

“A guy who just wants to fuck. He is not apologetic, nor does he respect the money, time, or feelings of others. He does not deduce whether his action may or may not be at the expense of his fwbs or significant others. May come off as shady, confused, lost, crazy, and then you realize he’s a waste of your time. In reality, they may be a loser with serious issues that no one is truly fond of, and those who do hook up with him may not want to see his face again.”

Once again we owe this word to the prison slangs of America! I can’t deny the joy that runs through my veins when I form my lips for the fractious big “F”. The flame that ignites in the eyes once a fuckboi’s identity is discovered must be similar to the discovery of a witch. Repeating “He’s a just fuckboi” over and over releasing rage and pleasure over the slang word.

I wonder why this name caught fire? and why do we keep on running towards the flame?

It’s obvious that I love this word. I love it for boys and girls alike. When it’s used as an adjective, ironically, and in the heat of passion. I love it.

But the reason why I love it so is that “fuckboy”  is a derogatory term that has nothing to do with females for once! Let me explain briefly: Using words such as bitch, slut, pussy generally says, “You’re a woman who does…”  or “You’re weak, be a man…” These words always comes from one source image – the woman! Finally a word has arrived that has nothing to do with the female or her parts and accurately describes the boy you’re dealing with.

Now, before you think I’m bashing fuckboys world wide – I never said being a fuckboy or being involved with one was a bad thing. I see this new term as a warning label, Whereas before the people dealing with fuckboys were going in blind. That’s no good for anybody.

Here is a short list of all the warning signs for your fuckboy:

1. ANY person who responds to your nudes (or selfies) with one emoji, You deserve a novel about the arousal you created.
2. If  they use the word “aesthetic” when describing their own instagram
3. You have to call to make sure plans are still on. Most of the time they’re cancelled but they want to see what you’re up to later so they can “swing by” aka SEX+
4. You are in a social gathering when you two obviously see each other yet they do not come by to say hello and make it awkward to do so.
5. You get a text followed by a call at odd hours of the day asking for that booty. Ie: 11:30am, 4:15pm, 1:45am

Now that you know a few of the warning signs it’s time to check in with yourself. Take a step back and ask yourself what you truly want from the other person. If you want to have amazing sex, great! Women are capable of that and we do it well! Don’t think JUST because you have sex means you have to think about a future with him. You can share the fun and more! However, listen to what your fuckboy is telling you – If what you both want doesn’t align then I’d advise you to walk away. A fuckboy confuses but never lies! If fuckboy says that he’s does not want a relationship then don’t try to change his mind. This will cause more of a headache for you in the long run. Fuckboys will tell you that they think you’re beautiful, wifey material or someone they can see a future with. They’re leading you on without the promise of a relationship.  

THEE most dangerous thing a fuckboy can do is lead you on. I’ve seen it and done numerous times. Even though you’ve identified the fuckboy, you’re still let down by how they act. But I’ve recently realized if you know your boundaries a fuckboy can be the best thing to play with. And sometimes you have to be blunt and talk about where both boundaries are so no hearts are hurt in the process.

You want to take care of you! A fuckboy should never carry the weight of your happiness. Dealing with a fuckboy should allow you time to discover yourself, desires, and focus on your career.      

First things first you must have a talk to clarify that you two are just fucking. No fuckboy is worth dealing with if he can’t do this for you. This way you know exactly how much energy you need to put into Fuckboy. There is nothing worse than someone wasting your time and energy! Once you both talk to whatever detail – then live your life! Have one talk and done. I don’t know how many ways he can tell you he still wants to play the field or doesn’t want to emotionally commit to you but if you don’t get how much of a fuckboy he is then walk away. Fast. It can get messy real quick.

If you and your fuckboy can be honest with each other then fuckboys can be a gal’s best friend. You can reap all the benefits without the drama. If you have to play with fire then light some rockets while you’re at it 😉

Xoxo

Miss Strange

How do yo feel about fuckbois? Comment below.

Hi loves! My name is Miss Strange and I live in Los Angeles, Ca. I am not an expert on all things love and life, no one truly is. Who I am is a young professional black female that is trying to manage life after heart break with all the insecurities, embarrassment and struggles that come with it.

Miss Strange is obviously my pin name. I struggled between using my real identity or pin name for weeks. I decided that in order to feel completely free to share my experiences with you I must do this anonymously because some of what I write about is happening in real time! This pin name is extremely close to me – an extension of self – not a garb to hide behind.

As I read one blog to the next I notice a hole in black female voices and I wish to fill that. By no means am I bashing white or other WOC’s experiences. I believe that little things arise dating while black that should be shared.

Black Magik, is truly about love – loving your partner, your friends, and learning to love yourself with a lil black girl magic sprinkled on top. Some post are more universal while some speak to my personal experiences dating and growing as a black girl in Lala Land.

As you read about my growing pains I hope you can laugh, say “yaz” a few times and cry a lil bit with me.