Finding the Perfect Partner by Asha Jackson
There is a phenomena buzzing in the love/romance sector of holistic education, that many people are jumping on. So far, I’ve seen a TEDxTAlK on the subject as well as many YouTube educators reflect on their own experiences with the practice. It is marriage. Not a completely foreign concept, but what makes this different is that people have pledged marriage to themselves. Complete with ceremony, vows, honeymoon, etc. people are taking serious strides towards making their happiness and love their top priority.
On my own journey, I have come to desire a relationship unlike any I’ve had before. I really want to commit and grow and build with someone. Not on a superficial level that stems from loneliness and needing to fill a void within myself. But from an innate human desire to connect and to love another. In crafting and understanding what it is I want out of a relationship, I have had to take a look back at what I’ve had in the past and how my own behavior in those relationships didnt serve my highest self. No blame on others, but taking an honest look at my choices and where they were stemming from: lack mentality, fear, motivations from ego, superficial standards. I lacked in communicating my feelings in the moment; at all, making me dishonest about what I wanted and needed for myself. I loved the idea and fantasy of what I wanted my mate to be, rather than love and accept them for who they were at the moment. I wasn’t aware of my needs and wants in the relationship from a lack of clarity, self worth, and respect which denied me from creating my own agenda; inevitably making me a part of someone else’s master plan.
Those days are no more. I recognize who I am on my own without the titles, relationships, status etc that society uses to define me. As I stand in my own power I am able to recognize all the beauty, intelligence, care, creativity, and joy I have within me. And I give it to myself. I have so much love to give and when I fantasize about giving pure love, affection and care to someone else, I just give it to myself. For the more whole I am, whoever I attract will mirror my image. I will attract people who are just as devoted to self development as I am. I will attract people who are just as loving and caring as I am. I will attract people who are just as ready to be vulnerable and intimate as I am. I will attract people who are living in the moment and will love unconditionally with no expectations for where we will go like I am. I will attract people who love this universe and planet and people and animals and their selves as I do. I will attract myself within another. And through this union who knows what we will create.
But I am not pressed. Not pushing it. I know the universe will give me what I need when when the time is right. In the meantime, I’m gonna continue to love myself like how I want someone else to treat me. Word of advice: dont expect any respect, love, admiration, care, nurturing, and anything else we need from anyone if were not giving it to ourselves! Stay focused on you! Your happiness! And dont depend on anyone else for it but yourself. Commit to yourself. Love yourself. Be there for yourself. And let that energy bring you someone who treats you just as good as you treat yourself. Give thanks for self!
ASHA JACKSON
Asha aims to share love, understanding, and insight through her writing. On her own spiritual journey, writing allows her to share with the world and reaffirm OUR oneness with the universe. To read more, check out her blog at http://ashestoasha.tumblr.
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